Wednesday, November 3, 2010

some guilt... and an oh so cute puppy

So this is going to be a spewing post...sorry.  I read a blog today and boy did it resignate with me.  Ever feel like you are failing at everything?  Uhh hello... that's me.  I never really used to have those feelings until I became a mother.  That's when I had TIME.  Oh time... where did you go?  I feel like I was on top of the game back then.  Not so much anymore.  I feel like I can't be as good of a friend, as good of a wife, as good of a daughter, as good of a sister, as good of a granddaughter, as good of an aunt, as good of a cousin, as good of an employee, etc.. etc...  Man - mommyhood sure does come with some guilt, eh?  Slap on being a working mom on top of it all and you have a big ole' heap of ugliness.  Now... don't get me wrong here - I LOVE being a mom more than anything in the entire world.  But, I have the guilt of everything else that isn't at the top of the list anymore.  Is my grandma doing ok?  Is she sad because I haven't called or stopped by in awhile?  Do my nieces wonder where cool aunt dawny went and why I don't spend as much time with them anymore?  I used to be the friend who didn't miss a birthday or a special day.... hmmm... can't say that anymore.  So... reading that blog today at least made me realize that I'm not alone.  I think everyone feels like that to some extent - right?  And why do I keep comparing myself to the person I was before Jaxson came???  I'm NOT that person anymore.  I CAN'T be that person anymore.  So... my question to you... how do you make that guilt go away?  Man is it consuming... help....

Happy Wednesday Friends.

P.S. my little puppy is going to be 2 on Friday!  :)


Lauren said...

I appreciate your post. That mommy guilt can be so overwhelming. But the truth is we don't have to be perfect. We can trust the Lord to take care of the people around us. We just need to love. So keep loving that boy and push aside the thoughts to be better. You just do what you can one day at a time. One look at Jaxson's smile and it's obvious that you are giving him heaps of love!! That's what really matters.

Tisha said...

I can't believe he is going to be TWO!!!!
I don't really have any advice, sorry. Since we don't live close to any family, I haven't had the guilt. But what Lauren said, sounds perfect!!

Renee said...

Chocolate...lots and lots of chocolate : }
Can't belive Jax is gonna be two..happy Birthday Jax from the Albright family.

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Oh yeah- totally understand that feeling!!!

This is one of my favorite books in the mommy department- it is called Mom & Loving It by Laurie Hilliard & Sharon Autry. It is amazing at explaining why's of guilt and why we shouldn't :)

Personally part of it is just because we are responsible for another human being!!! It is a HUGE DEAL, and so anything inadequate about ourselves- Explodes.

The book- really helped me to realize I even had guilt & why and why GOD says - DON'T!!

By the way one of them has a job outside the home and the other doesn't so they balance it both ways :)

Sarah said...

Dawny P! You are one awesome lady AND mommy! I WAS holding it against you that you haven't flown Jody and Renee and I to your house for a big sleepover...but I guess I can let it go...for now. :) (But only because you have one darn cute little guy!)