yeah... this pretty much just sucks...

So, that post yesterday about being at peace and all that hooey phooey??? Yeah.. you can just disregard that. This sucks. I don’t know how else to say it. I have done really well with this wait from referral to court (or at least I think I have). I woke up yesterday feeling good and even wrote that little post. Well, I don’t know what happened, but something did and that’s all out the window. I am tired of waiting. I’m tired of missing out on another day of Jaxson’s life. I'm tired of people asking when we are going to get him and my answer being "I don't know". I want to know. I want the wait to be OVER. I think it’s that we are SO close now. So close. The decision is now made and I just pray that we hear something soon. It was a rough afternoon & night, but I feel better knowing that the decision has been made. I just want my boy.

Court Tonight!!!

The closets are organized, the exersaucer is put together, everything has been dusted, the carpets have been shampooed, the cabinets have been cleaned & organized, the highchair is put together, the pack n play is put together, etc, etc, etc, and it’s done. The cleaning is done and I have wore myself out. I’m exhausted. The house is completely clean. You could come and lick my floors if you want, or my bathtub or my kitchen cabinets. They are THAT clean. So, just throwing it out there.

At midnight tonight the courts will open and while we sleep (well, I’m sure I won’t be sleeping) a judge will decide if Jaxson Kyin will be OUR SON. OUR son. AH! How does one sleep when they know that type of decision is being made??? I did not sleep last night – Tim and I both tossed & turned all night long. So, I can only imagine what it’s going to be like tonight. I am not nervous… not at all. I’ve never once been nervous about not passing court. I’m just anxious. VERY anxious & excited. I don’t know why, but I’m very much at peace about the court appt and that we won’t have any problems passing. IF for some reason we do not pass… well, I will be heart broken, but I’m choosing to remain completely hopeful that all goes well and we will be traveling in a couple of weeks with all my friends to pick up our children! We won’t know right away if we pass or not. They wait until they have a court decree in hand before making the phone call, so we are hoping to hear on Thursday or Friday. There are 4 other families that have court tonight as well, so if you could PLEASE say a prayer for all of us before you go to sleep tonight we would all REALLY appreciate it!!

Now I’m off to find some caffeine… and maybe some chocolate…

Nursery Pictures

Ok...I know I've been promising these pictures for quite sometime now, but alas HERE IT IS PEOPLE!! Here's Jaxson's room...








This is artwork that Tim & I painted when we were little. I thought it would be cute to hang & put in Jaxson's room. You can't see it, but the picture on the left... Tim painted that in 3rd grade and it's a tree house that says "The Cool Club - No Girls". hahaha...so cute.


The closet that Tim built... he did a great job!

We got a nester over here!

Our court appointment is right around the corner! NEXT week – WAHOO!!! (please keep us & the other families in your prayers!) Back in January when we were told our court appt was 3/31, I was like WHAT?! That is forever away! I can’t do that. Well, certainly I could… I’ve waited several years for our baby – I can wait a few more months. And the time passed quickly – it really did. I got an email from another family with the same court date as us with some fun info. Our caseworker told her that if we pass court that we should plan to travel the week of 4/12 or the week of 4/19 depending on the embassy appointments. Ummm hello – that is just a FEW weeks away!!! So, I am beyond excited but a little freaked out at the same time. I always imagined us being at this point, but it’s different when you are actually there. We COULD be booking our plane tickets next week. What? Did I really just type that? Yes… crazy.

So, wanna know what I’ve been up to? NESTING. Yes, that’s right. I’m totally nesting. When people would say that they were nesting I always wondered what nesting really was. Well… I get it. I’m a crazy nester right now. I’m on a mission. I am cleaning everything in my house. You’d think I was cleaning for the President to come over… nope… someone even more important than that – JAXSON! Sunday Tim and I took everything out of all the kitchen cabinets, washed everything, scrubbed down the cabinets, cleaned behind the fridge & stove, re-organized, etc… I’m doing this to every room in my house. I’m obsessed. So, watch out people – CRAZY nester is comin’ through!!

American Idol - The Top 11

Ok, so I love to watch American Idol. I have watched every single season and I’m still hooked. I’m sure many of you are fans too – so let’s talk about how last night went.

Michael – ok, so Michael did good I think. I didn’t understand him all of the time, but it was good. Great? Nah.. just good. But, kinda forgettable I think.

Allison – Allison did really well. Good song choice. She’s the best female – I think. I love her voice – very mature for 16. But, the red hair? Gotta go.

Kris – LOVED him. I think he is really good and people are probably underestimating him… watch out! He’s one of my favs.

Lil – ok, I’m sorry but last night she did BAD. Just BAD. That was not good at ALL. There were a million other songs she should have picked. That one has been done way too much. And she was just off with the whole thing. I normally like her, but not last night.

Adam – Umm..where do I start. WEIRD. I did not like the arrangement of the song at all. I think he wears too much make-up and I agree with Simon that it was a tad indulgent. He was kinda creeping me out. But, I will admit his vocals were good – he has some of the best vocals on the show – whether you like him or not. But the whole thing was just gross. He won’t go home though – the judges would save him anyway.

Scott – ok, I know people think that he’s not that good. I agree he doesn’t have the best vocals, but I still like him. And I thought he did a good job last night. Will he be in the bottom? No, I don’t think so. I think he has a fan base – pity votes? Maybe… but he won’t be going home.

Alexis – I was disappointed in Alexis this week. I thought that she would be a stand-out tonight, but not so much. She didn’t do bad, but it was just “eh” for me. Good, but forgettable. And did anyone else notice that she resembled Dolly just a little??? Weird. She could be in the bottom tonight.

Danny – oh I LOVE Danny! And not just because he’s our hometown guy here in WI!! In the beginning of the song I was like “hmmm.. then about 30 seconds in I was like ok yes I like it”. He really has some pipes. Love him. No wait… LOVE him. Another fav.

Anoop – wow – he did AWESOME!! And I’m so thankful he has a stylist helping him now – hehe. He was AMAZING. And I was worried about him and country week – but he did awesome awesome!

Megan – do not like her… at all. I don’t know what it is about her, but I just don’t like her. She is TOO quirky for me. The weird shake/hip/twist thing she does annoys the boogers out of me. She stands in front of the mic with her arms straight and does the shakey… twisty… weirdness. I want to tell her to STOP. And was it me or did her boobs look really weird??? Please go home Megan.

Matt – LOVED it!! He did really good. He is another one of my favs. I know what you are thinking… man she has a lot of favs… no not really – just 3. So anyway, he did awesome on the piano and you could tell he was really into it and well that’s one of my favorite songs so I was happy with his song choice. Yay Matt!

Ok, so… who is going home tonight??? Well, I’m going with Megan. What do YOU think??

my weekend with Jody

I'm baaaaack!!! I had a GREAT time with Jody & her family this past weekend! It was so nice to just relax and have fun with her family. They have 3 adorable, smart, sweet and funny girls - they are a lot of fun to be around & I miss their cute faces already. I was so nice and brought some WI weather with me - I don't think they appreciated that so much though. :) And look what Jody bought for Jaxson... LOTS of clothes!! Isn't she awesome?!

So, are you wondering why there is a picture of a toilet? Well, that is Jody's toilet. I spent many hours with that toilet yesterday. Yes... bad bad memories with that toilet. I woke up Sunday morning at 4am with a fever and the chills and ... well I'll spare you the other details. Thankfully at about 2pm I was feeling better and able to get on the plane. But, for awhile I thought I might be spending another night at their house. So, our last day wasn't so fun... but the rest of the weekend was! Funny thing is that Jody and I were emailing last week and somehow got onto the subject of throwing up (I have no idea why) and I told her that I NEVER throw up and get sick... blah blah blah... HA... guess I'm a big fat liar. Oh and are you wondering why I took a picture of her toilet? I didn't. My oh so nice friend Jody emailed me this morning and the subject line said "Dear Dawn - I miss you". I was thinking... awww Jody misses me and sent me a picture of the two of us, nope not the case at all. She sent me a picture of her toilet. She's so mean!

Heading to Virginia...

I've been slacking in the blog department... so sowwey! We have been really busy, but I have a good post coming soon... so stay tuned. We are ALMOST done with the nursery, just need to get some frames for the pictures and get them hung. Sooooo.... next week I'll have the big nursery reveal!! Aren't you excited?! You should be. Seriously...get hype.

I'm SO excited because I'm hoppin' on a plane tomorrow to go visit Jody & her family!! Jody and I met last summer from the blogs/list serv when we realized we were right next to eachother on the list. Well, a WONDERFUL friendship was formed and now I'm packing my bags to go hang out with her. Isn't that cool?! I'm sure I'll have some pics from the weekend to share next week too. See...I'm giving you reason to come back and check up on me!

Donations for HH

I've had several people ask me about donations recently and I figured it's about time that I start collecting. We are really hoping to be able to take LOTS over! If you're interested in helping out here is a list of items that are needed at HH.

Items needed the most are:
- diapers (all sizes)
- wipes
- 4 oz avent bottles
- lids and nipples
- bouncy seats

Other items needed:
- bibs
- hand sanitizer
- kleenex boxes
- infant & children's vitamins
- formula
- diaper rash cream
- baby shampoos & baby oil
- blow up balls/outside toys
- sidewalk chalk
- bubbles
- children's dvds & cds
- men & women's deodorant
- good quality electric shaver
- clothing:
baby clothing infant - 8 mos
light jackets or sweaters for all ages
boys clothing for ages 6-10 yrs old
girls clothing for ages 6-13 yrs old
underwear for all ages
shoes for all ages - crocs are great

Used items are fine as long as they are in good condition. If you have anything please let me know. Thanks in advance for your help!